Misogyny, hateful, ludicrous, downright bashful, and all the amazing words I have been reading across the review of the proclaimed “intense love story” Kabir Singh.
Well, I am not here to carry forward the rant that’s been brewing and showing up across all the social media channels. In fact, I am here to put together all my attention to one crucial and unsettling issue pervading the love relationships of our society. In one of the instances in the movie, the female protagonist goes on to say that Kabir, I am nothing without you and cries whereas our intense, drunk, chauvinist, misogynist Kabir slaps her and says, “Tu meri bandi hai” implying that she is nothing without him and has no identity of her own. This hit me hard and I was forced to spill the thoughts living inside of me forever.
I have seen girls tormenting and traumatizing themselves in an abusive relationship. They fear their “angry bird” and so, hesitate to speak against him. I have seen girls going to any extent to satisfy their “men.” I have seen girls sacrificing their happiness, putting their dreams on stake because they want to save a drowning sinking boat of a failing relationship. I have seen girls beating themselves to break down into fragments, crying themselves to sleep, adjusting their ‘dupattas‘ when their macho commands, and doing anything and everything just because they wants to prove their love. Like why oh why my pretty ladies, why would you ever fail yourself in the process of loving someone else? Why would you prefer to wilt and wither away casting aside your identity and living under the shadow of your “man”!
Love is never supposed to weaken you. It is never supposed to snatch who you are. It is never there to cast its spell and dwarf your individuality in front of its proclaimed purity. There’s no such thing as intense love in the name of possession, there is no such thing as mad love; if there’s one – it is absolute insanity. Girls, do not glorify a relationship which is already damaging you, don’t show up a happy face in front of the world when inside you are crumbling down, don’t bear a love that impairs you, don’t put the false idea of love above you. A few years back someone told me to be more than merely a voodoo doll. I guess his words still stay with me.
Girls, be more than pretty and delicate dolls, be more than an object for a man, be more than a submissive chick, be powerful and assertive. And if there’s a love that challenges your voice bullying you to suppress it, be quick enough to know when is the right time to take an exit. Don’t stay in a toxic relationship just for the heck of it. Please don’t!
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